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UPS Freakout 2
Hello? Hi, this is Bernie, at United Parcel. Calling about your..uh, shipment here. It's -$480 on the invoice. What shipment, who are you calling, and what is this regarding? Uh..a 480 pound squid is what it is, from, uh... Tokyo. Uhm... And it's on our dock, and we just gotta get a good time to deliver, and we need COD on that. Okay, who are you calling? In fact, we need certified funds. ''' Who are you calling? '''It's on the packing slip, got the PO number, I've got a..your signature... Who? ...on the slip. You. Give me a name. I'm Bernard. I'm sorry? ..Fuddle. I am. 24 years on the job. Who is the name that you're looking for? It's from Tokyo Joe's Squid. Okay, you have the wrong number, I have no idea what you're talking about. I've got your signature, and we need certified funds.. What's the signature? Tell me the name of the signature. I can co-sign on the thing, and if you, we can take you... You're not... We can take you to your bank. You're not listening to me. I don't think you're acknowledging me! Who are you calling? What number... We're doing you a favor! What number are you calling? I'm not expecting a package, from Tokyo or anyplace else. What number are you calling.. This is a 480 pound squid, and we gotta move it. Hell, I don't care where you move it, you can't move it to my house. What's my- what's the address? Did you just change your mind, on the product? ' Who are you calling? You haven't even identified who you're calling. '''I am Bernard Fuddle. ' How do you know you've got the right number? '''I am with United Parcel. I don't care who you're with. Who are you calling? I'm calling right now, on the dock, standing here with three deliverymen. Which number? Where's it supposed to go? 1-800-PICK-UPS. Where's it supposed to go? I'm in Commerce City. What's the address it's supposed to be delivered? We're at 5621 Quebec Street, Commerce City. That's the address it's supposed to go to? That's where we're located, sir. ''' Where is it supposed to be delivered to? '''You need to focus on the certified funds that we need. Yeah. I don't know who you are, I don't have any shipment coming to me. You can't even tell me who you're talking to! Do you...and... Goodbye. ''---'' Hello? Yeah, this is Franklin Donovan, down at United Parcel Service. What appears to be the problem here?'' breathing'' I..somebody called, and they just told me...who are you calling? They said 'who are you calling'? I'm asking you. Whom are you calling, with respect to some supposed delivery? Your squid, here! I don't have a squid, sorry. This thing's a nuisance! I don't have one, I'm sorry. I don't know who you're calling. call? Yes, sir? This is Ruben calling, from United Parcel Service. I'm an administrator here. And according to the notes, you spoke to, uh... Wallace, some kind of squid, uh... large freight here. I mean, there's flags on the account here that you are a problematic account, which is why I'm trying to call. What is the name on the account? Ruben Norman. ' No, what is the name on the account? Is that your name? '''Can't you just extrapolate one to the other? ' What is the name on the account? It's a simple question, even a jackass like you could answer that. 'What is.. the name I just gave you. ' That..is that your name, or the name on the account? 'Yes, it is. And before we write off... ' What is the name on the account? '''And before we write off this amount... Goodbye, asshole. What... Category:Special delivery Category:Squid Category:Bernard